How much do I want that shirt?! It's from my favorite online comic, Married to the Sea. You can see the full Shakespeare comic here, which is even more awesome (but naughty and therefore unpostable).
So. Yes. Shakespeare.
I'm surprising myself too. Truthfully, he's the kind of writer that makes me squirmy inside. Because he is SMART. Which makes me feel dumb. So in a generalized kind of way, I avoid him.
(I like Shakespeare. I respect Shakespeare. I just rarely read Shakespeare.)
Because the other thing about him? Depressing. I'm sorry, but no one will ever convince me that a thirteen-year-old girl in a suicide pact is a love story. Interesting, yes. Romantic? NO!
Don't do it! He's not worth it!
[SIDE NOTE: Did you know Romeo and Juliet was a preexisting story? Matteo Bandello (c. 1480 – 1562) was probably the original author, and then it was translated from Italian into a narrative poem called "The Tragical History of Romeus and Juliet" in 1562 by Arthur Brooke. Shakespeare most likely wrote his version between 1591-1595.]
Anyway. I much prefer his comedies -- The Tempest, Much Ado About Nothing, and, my favorite, A Midsummer Night's Dream. And I've begun to appreciate his sonnets with age. And after seeing today's post at Jane Austen Today, I have an EVEN BETTER appreciation.
(The video happens to be set to Pride and Prejudice footage, which is a lovely bonus. Though I know you won't believe me when I say this, but I'd actually prefer just listening to Rufus, whom I passionately worship and adore. Still. If I have to look at SOMETHING...)
His voice is so beautiful! I had the honor of seeing Rufus two years ago, and it was one of the best shows I've ever attended. He's the only musician who has moved me to tears, during a gorgeous -- and microphone-less -- rendition of an Irish folk song called "Macushla" (translation = heartthrob).
Sadly, this is only part of the song, but you can get the idea:
Rufus's latest project is a French opera called Prima Donna, which will debut later this year. I'm so thrilled! I'm not an opera buff, but I'm interested by it. And I love this quote from him: "Opera seems to have been hijacked by intellectual elements. For a long time I wanted to make it a little less intellectual and have more emotional engagement. You have to remember it was a populous form, like the bandstand of its time."
Opera for the people! Cool!
But going back to Matthew MacFadyen for a minute -- because why not? -- he also recorded two additional poems for this DVD, including my very favorite poem (I seem to have many favorites in this post, but they're all true), "This Is Just To Say" by William Carlos Williams:
AND . . . Mr. Darcy will be in Little Dorrit on Masterpiece Classicstarting this Sunday the 29th through April 26th. Yippee!
For the last few weeks, I keep getting sent the link to this new book. (Hi, Tammy!) And I'm not sure why. I mean, it's not like I have an obsession with Pride and Prejudice or anything. And it's not like I ever talk about zombies.
Name ONE TIME I've talked about zombies!
Okay. There was that one time. And maybe a few others.
Which is (honestly) perplexing, because when it comes to paranormal creatures, I am totally a werewolf girl. Remus Lupin, An American Werewolf in London, Kelley Armstrong's Bitten, etc etc etc.
Werewolves. Not Zombies.
And it's not as if the mere mention of Jane Austen's masterpiece makes me immediately do a Google Image search for Matthew Macfadyen. (Yeah. I'm Team Matthew. Team Colin is cool, but it's kinda crowded anyway.) And I've certainly never wasted an entire post with pictures of him.
I am totally above that, you guys.
But, for some reason, people keep thinking I'll be interested in this fancy new book! Here's the description, from the publisher's website:
"Pride and Prejudice and Zombies features the original text of Jane Austen's beloved novel with all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie action. As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton—and the dead are returning to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she's soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy."
Um, hello. I'd be "distracted" too. Have you SEEN Mr. Darcy?
I never pass an opportunity to post The Hero Walk.
Greatest. Scene. EVER. Ever ever EVER!
Squeeeeeeeeeaaalllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!
[Please pardon me while I go cool down. Just going to stick my feet in the snow for a second. Maybe put an icicle somewhere inappropriate. Be right back.]
Okay.
So maybe I am interested in this book. MAYBE. But did you hear??? PRIDE AND PREJUDICE! And ZOMBIES! TOGETHER AT LAST!!!!!!! The only thing that could POSSIBLY make this better would be the addition of lots and lots and lots of glorious smooching. I would think killing zombies would make Lizzy and Darcy hot.
But maybe that's just me.
In other vaguely-related news, Jarrod just found out about a place in Portland called Voodoo Doughnut that not only sells vegan doughnuts, naughty-shaped doughnuts, and doughnut voodoo dolls (raspberry filling for blood!) but it also has a wedding chapel! IN THE DOUGHNUT SHOP!
The best part is, when he told me, we were both immediately like, "We are so renewing our vows there."
And we were serious.
And there is a chance we'll be in Portland this spring.
It's crucial that before I begin, I post a HOT PICTURE of my husband. You know, before he develops the fear of me leaving him for a Hot British Actor. Or the fear of me leaving him to stalk a Hot British Actor.
Jarrod (center), looking hot
See honey? I still love you best.
Moving on . . .
So you'll NEVER EVER GUESS IN A MILLION BILLION YEARS what I'm going to talk about today. (But I'll give you three chances.)
1) Unicorns? Not even close!
2) Turtleneck sweaters?
Not for another month!
3) That the Krebs cycle is a cycle of enzyme-catalyzed reactions in living cells that is the final series of reactions of aerobic metabolism of carbohydrates, proteins, and fatty acids, and by which carbon dioxide is produced, oxygen is reduced, and ATP is formed?
Um . . . cough . . . what?
Give up?
REVISIONS!!!!!
Yes, I am still revising my novel. Yes, my deadline was Monday. Yes, I have a new deadline.
But I'm not as depressed as you'd think. In fact, I'm not sad at all. I didn't hit my goal, but for the first time in my life, I know there is nothing NOTHING more I could have done to reach it. I've realized the previous goal was an impossible one because:
I. Have. Worked. My. Butt. Off.
(Actually, my butt is still technically "on." Thank goodness. But it's getting lumpy from the lack of exercise. I should do something about that.)
I have never worked harder. Ever. For the last three weeks, my bedtime has been 4:00 am. My health is wrecked, my friends have forgotten what I look like, and I am totally out of underwear. Seriously. Someone needs to do the laundry. My vote? The dogs. They've been slacking.
Slackers.
But I've also never felt better about my work. I'm proud of myself. And now I have a reasonable idea of how much longer it'll really take to finish this draft.
I'm halfway through revisions, so I'm putting three more weeks back on the clock. So yeah. If you were looking forward to me talking about something other than writing this month, you are going to be disappointed.
I'm kind of obsessed.
My official new deadline is September 30th. Which means October 1st, my Super Awesome Writer Feedback Crew will be mailed/hand-delivered full manuscripts. Prepare yourself Super Awesome Writer Feedback Crew! (AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.) I will be harassing you this October!
Anyway. On to the good stuff! Writing advice!
Well, it's good stuff if you're a writer. Otherwise you're skimming right now for Hot British Actors. In which case, I apologize. I'm shirking my duties.
What would you say to this?
Clive Owen. I knew you wouldn't mind.
Bit of Advice #1 -- Match Word Choice to Theme
Recently I recommended a book here called The Sugar Queen by Sarah Addison Allen. One of the things that impressed me was how she took her theme of sweets and applied it directly to her word choice (without overdoing it). Take these delicious morsels from the first chapter:
the protagonist has "curly, licorice-black hair" "a fine sheen of sugary frost" covers her windows "If she could eat the cold air, she would. She thought cold snaps were like cookies, like gingersnaps."
I love the idea of taking the theme and/or plot of a book (or a chapter or a scene), and enhancing it via word choice. So you aren't just talking about the character's relationship with candy (this one hides it in her closet), but you're actually sweetening the text itself. Does that make sense?
Speaking of candy.
I remembered The Sugar Queen last weekend, because I was working on a scene that took place inside a pâtisserie in France. And I didn't want to just describe a bunch of desserts (though I did that too, and gladly), I wanted the feeling of the entire chapter to be sweet (especially since the subject matter being discussed in the shop was NOT sweet -- and I needed a balance). So what did I do?
I got out a cookbook.
Yep. I spent twenty minutes cruising through the dessert section of Deborah Madison's Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone, making a list of every baking verb, adjective, and noun I could find. Then I went back into my chapter to see what AVERAGE words I could replace with my new FANCY words. Here are a few of the results:
-- chandelier crystals changed from "topaz" colored to "honey" -- wind "whipped" (instead of "blew") through the shop -- the glass rings on someone's fingers resembled "spun sugar" -- a woman's glare turned from "dirty" to "frosty"
Not huge differences, but it pleased me.
On a related note, I've also heard about spicing up your prose by stealing verbs from the sports section of the newspaper. Love this idea!
And I'm also big on name-stealing. Every time I pass by a graveyard or cemetery, I can't help but jot down a few of the more unusual names inside. And I love watching movie credits, especially during foreign films -- lots of cool names hide in the those credits! Look for them.
What unusual places do you steal words from? (I'm especially interested in advice regarding the tactile and scented. I have difficulties remembering to keep these two senses in my work.)
No clever caption. Just completely unrelated Sin City hotness.
Bit of Advice #2 -- Use Your Nose
Speaking of scents . . . I have a really weird/embarrassing writing trick I'd like to share with you now. I mean it's really weird, so stick with me for a moment while I try to explain. And don't scoff too loudly, because I can hear you all the way from here.
I used to suffer from 40 Minute Warm-Up Syndrome. Meaning it took forty minutes minimum before my brain and fingers began making love on the keyboard, and words would enter my blank Word documents. FORTY MINUTES! That's a lot of wasted time. So I got to thinking about how I could -- pardon the barfy sports analogy -- "get in the zone" faster.
What would jog my memory? How could I zap myself back into my novel in less time?
Well. You know how the smell of mothballs reminds you of Grandma's church clothes? Or the smell of rotten eggs makes you think of Yellowstone National Park? Or the smell of stinky cat litter reminds you of that one friend you had growing up? The one with the really really gross house?
I made a scent for my novel. But not an icky scent. A pleasant one.
My magic formula is as follows:
Orbit Citrusmint Gum + Lychee Rose Body Creme = Novel
So in other words, every time I sit down to work, I slather on the rose-scented lotion and pop a piece of orange-flavored gum. And the amazing thing is, my warm up time has gone from forty long, excruciating, dead minutes to . . . none.
NONE.
Oh yeah. WHO'S LAUGHING NOW???
My nose goes "sniff sniff" and my brain goes "Oh, that's right. We're doing this thing now." Which doesn't mean the first bits I start writing are brilliant (they aren't), but at least I'm writing something. I plan on using this technique for, oh I dunno, THE REST OF MY LIFE. Seriously, from now on, each novel I write will have its own unique scent.
I'm thinking apple-scented lotion next. I don't know why.
"Stephanie? Are you almost done blogging? It's bedtime."
(Just one more, sweetie! Be there soon!)
Bit of Advice #3 -- Inspiration via Music
This is another trick I use when I'm stuck. Never underestimate the power of a good song.
What do I mean?
Well, say you're writing a kissing scene. (Because I like kissing scenes.) And the kissing is nice and all but . . . not anything to get hot and bothered about. In fact, right now your kiss is as chaste as an "inspirational" Amish Wanda Brunstetter novel (don't get me started -- okay, maybe a little bit -- why the heck would I want to read A LOVE STORY without any of the good bits? Is she crazy??).
Anyway.
So you need to up the hot factor, but you're not feeling it. Maybe you had a rough day at work. Maybe you just cleaned cat vomit off your favorite pair of shoes. Maybe -- and this is PURELY HYPOTHETICAL -- you haven't showered in three days. So what do you do?
Make a playlist.
Put together every sexy, romantic song you think of and start listening. Pretty soon, something's gonna happen to your characters. That kiss is going to start sparking. No, that kiss is going to start shooting FLAMES.
Why wasn't King Arthur more popular? Keira Knightley and Clive Owen DID THIS.
I make a playlist for every scene I write. I think about what emotion I want it to carry, and I find the music I feel best represents it. And not only that, but I have emergency playlists, for more generic needs, scenes, and situations.
Quick! Was the main character just dumped? Let's whip out the "Depressed" playlist! Is she fighting with her best friend? Put on the "Pissed!"
Eventually SOMETHING will inspire me, whether it's a pulsing rhythm carried through the guitars or a pointed lyric that packs a certain punch.
Now, I won't bore you with my playlists. "Sexy" to me probably does not equal "sexy" to you (unless we are talking about Clive Owen, obviously, who is NOT music, but if he were, would spontaneously combust your speakers).
But I do have one that's done me good this week. A flexible one, that can be used in many situations since it's instrumental -- the Atonement soundtrack. (I'm doing everything I can NOT to post a picture of James McAvoy right now. Oh, screw it. It's my blog. I can do what I like.)
Anyway.
If you don't remember what the music sounded like, check out the beginning of the trailer as a reminder.
Hear that cool typewriter noise? Yeah. It's on the soundtrack. I mean (nerd alert), HOW FREAKING COOL IS IT to write to TYPEWRITER music! Last weekend, I used it to kick myself out of least five different slumps. Genius.
By the way, the music was composed by the fabulous fabulous fabulous Dario Marianelli. He had previously worked with the director, Joe Wright, for the AMAZING Pride & Prejudice score. (No, Stephanie! Don't do it! ARGGHHHHH!)
This is why I should not blog late at night.
ANYWAY. What I was trying to say was that Marianelli won the Academy Award for the Atonement soundtrack, and rightfully so. That was it.
Where was I?
"Go to bed, Stephanie."
In conclusion, if you are stuck, don't be afraid to try silly things! Open up cookbooks. Spritz on cucumber body spray. Listen to music.
No one ever has to know.
(Unless you insist on blogging about it against your own better judgment.)
Like -- and this is A PURELY HYPOTHETICAL EXAMPLE -- revisions. If I had revisions to do (cough cough), I am confident that I would be Most Excellent at ignoring them.
Instead I might . . . Google pictures of Mr. Darcy. Perhaps.
Or look at these funny pictures of tourists holding up the Leaning Tower of Pisa/doing Tai chi.
How have I not mentioned this yet? I bought Suite Scarlettthe day Maureen Johnson announced on her hee-larious blog it was for sale and DEVOURED it.
I. Loved. This. Book.
If you've never read MJ before, you're missing out. Her novels are fun, fun, fun, and filled with literary substance goodness, so you won't feel guilty later (you know what I mean -- those books you LOVE but are afraid to admit you like because they're total candy, and I'm not talking about an organic 70% dark chocolate bar, but more like a Whatchamacallit.)
Suite Scarlett is my favorite MJ novel yet. Scarlett Martin lives in a NYC hotel, but not in an Eloise kind of way. Her family owns the Hopewell, a small struggling hotel with fabulous art deco architecture and one loopy summer guest.
And, of course, like all my favorite books, THERE IS A CUTE BOY.
Did you not see this coming? Shame on you.
Spencer Martin is an actor of the Buster Keaton physical, slapstick variety (be still my heart!), and he gets work -- get this -- as a unicyclist in a 1920s silent film type stage production of Hamlet.
OH YEAH.
The only reason Spencer did not make my Hottest Hotties list was because, well, Spencer is her brother. And I was semi-disturbed with myself by how often I wanted them to hook up. Which doesn't make HIM any less hot, it just makes me, well, perverted?
Or something like that.
The excellent news is that Suite Scarlett is the first in a new series. I can't wait for more.
Read this if you like: Funny books with I-Wanna-Be-Her-Friend protagonists and SUPER HOT BOYS ON UNICYCLES.
If you like this, read:Girl at Sea by Maureen Johnson and Dream Factory by Brad Barkley & Heather Hepler
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In other news, how dull has cinema been this year? I haven't felt like myself lately. Usually I'm all, "Movies movies movies movies," but there has been NADA for me to talk about. The best film so far was Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day and that was months ago.
Lee Pace, the best reason to see Miss Pettigrew.
Gah. I am suffering.
Nearly all of my favorite directors (Danny Boyle, Tim Burton, Pedro Almodovar, Wes Anderson, Alfonso Cuaron, Sofia Coppola, etc) had films in the last year or two, which means DROUGHT CITY for now.
I only have a teeny-weeny list of Looking Foward Tos:
The Dark Knight: 'Cause Heath Ledger's Joker is creepy as hell.
Priceless: What girl doesn't want to be Audrey Tautou? Too cute. This should be coming to the Fine Arts Theater in the next few weeks.
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2: Okay, as a Cinema Geek, it's embarrassing to admit this, but I adored the first one -- America Ferrara made me bawl my eyes out -- and I adore the books. If this gets terrible reviews, I'll wait until DVD, but I really, really hope it's good tween fun.
Blindness: Jose Saramago's novel was mind-blowing, and um - Gael Garcia Bernal is in it. So, you know.
Rudo y Cursi: I don't know if we'll get this in the states this year, but it's Gael again (happy sigh!) and he's teamed back up with Y Tu MamaTambien costar & best friend in-real-life Diego Luna. PLUS it's directed by Alfonso Cuaron's brother, Carlos Cuaron. I have Very High Hopes here.
And, despite my reservations, Twilight. (Enough said.)
Switch places with me, Bella.
On the plus side, the BOOK WORLD is FABULOUS this year! Lots of guaranteed great reads:
David Sedaris' new book, When You Are Engulfed in Flames, wasjust released! I'm zipping to the bookstore this weekend. I think I say this too frequently, but I mean it here -- if I could steal any writer's voice, it would be David's. If I were even a smidge as funny as he is, I'd be set for life. If you ever have a chance to see him in person, GO! He'll make you laugh 'til you cry or pee your pants or both. Simultaneously.
Stephenie Meyer's Breaking Dawn. Even though I am dismayed by something HORRIFIC in the last novel, I am still waiting for THE SCENE. If you've read her books, you know what SCENE I'm talking about. THE SCENE we've been waiting for since Twilight. And if THE SCENE is not as fabulous as I'm anticipating, you'll be looking at one depressed puppy. You'll have to scrape me from the wall where I will have thrown myself against it in despair.
Or something like that.
Juliet Marillier's Cybele's Secret. How many times do I have to recommend Wildwood Dancing before you pick up a copy? If you like fairy tales and true love and enchanted forests and dancing and vampires and mind-reading frogs, you must read it! Cybele's Secret is the sequel, and I am sooooo excited.
John Green's new novel, Paper Towns, is (apparently) so fabulous that the publishers gave him TWO covers. I love the description: "Quentin Jacobsen has spent a lifetime loving the magnificently adventurous Margo Roth Spiegelman from afar. So when she cracks open a window and climbs back into his life--dressed like a ninja and summoning him for an ingenious campaign of revenge--he follows."
A ninja! Revenge!
Also check out his video on the above Amazon link. If you didn't know how funny and adorable John was, you will after watching it. "You've gotta be more like James Patterson, I mean that guy writes a book like every seven hours." (Go nerdfighters!)
John is another writer I can't believe I haven't talked about more here, because he's amazing and talented and hilarious and poignant and he TOTALLY earned his Printz for Looking for Alaska and the Printz honor for An Abundance of Katherines. If you haven't read either yet, get thee to a library, pronto.
I will keep gushing about him here until you do.
John John John. Gush gush gush.
Gush.
Speaking of authors so awesome they get two covers, Neil-FREAKING-Gaiman's The Graveyard Book is coming out in September. In his own words: "It's a book about life and death and making families. It has ghouls in it, and the hounds of God, and the Sleer, and the Indigo Man, and a lot of very dead people."
Sweet, huh?
I can't decide if I want the Dave McKean or the Chris Riddell cover (only available in the UK, I think). Actually, I want both.
I wonder if Jarrod would notice if there were two copies on our bookshelves? Surely he'd understand . . . I mean, he's seen how many copies of Pride & Prejudice I own. (Examples: A miniature copy in my glove compartment and a different miniature edition in my purse. You know, emergency Mr. Darcy. Just in case. And now you think I'm a freak.)
How cute is Meg?!
Also due for release (no Amazon link yet) is Meg Cabot's Princess Diaries X in December. This is the FINAL BOOK. For now, at least. So Michael will come back from Japan & Mia will have matured & they will hook up & it will be SO AWESOME.
Let's get superficial. What do the above novels have in common? I mean, besides being: (A) Awesome, (B) Books I Own, and (C) Awesome.
Think about it for a moment. Give up?
CUTE BOYS.
Oh, yeah. I said it.
As my very good-natured husband will attest, the first thing I do when reading a book jacket is determine if there will be kissing. What? I say, holding the latest Oprah pick. No kissing?
WHAT IS THE POINT OF A BOOK WITHOUT KISSING??
None. Zero. Zip. That's what.
Okay. Obviously, that's notcompletelytrue, but still - the love story is the major factor I consider when choosing my next reading material. And I'm not talking about bodice-ripping, nipple-tweaking romance, I'm talking about TRUE LOVE.
And what is true love without a beautiful boy? A really, really beautiful hot boy? A really, really beautiful hot boy who hopefully has a lot of page time?
So, without further ado, please allow me to present:
I sooo wanted to put Gogu in my Top Ten, but as he's actually a frog, it seemed unfair to the other candidates to be ranked with an amphibian. But trust me, Gogu? TOTALLY HOT. If you have any interest in fairy tale retellings, and if you like cute boys (who may or may not happen to have suction cup toes), read this book! One of my absolute all-time favorites.
I'd like to say the fact that Robbie Turner is on my list has NOTHING TO DO with James McAvoy, but that's probably not true. Still, the fact remains that Ian McEwan (one of only two male authors on this list, hmm) created an amazing romantic novel with a tortured, passionate boy who never, ever, ever stops lusting after his True Love. Even when her family is crazy and sends him to jail. Even when the Germans are trying to kill him in the trenches. Even when . . . well, I don't want to ruin the surprise, now do I?
#9 - Shrimp (Gingerbreadseries) Shrimp is a pint-sized artist, spiky-haired surfer, owner of a mini Nestle Crunch bar tattoo, and the love of Cyd Charisse's life. Too bad they just can't seem to make it work. Shrimp is probably the most flawed boy on my list - he refuses to play nice with her brother and he flies away frequently and without notice - but Shrimp always comes back. He keeps trying. Like the main character, he's grown and matured throughout the series and that, my friends, is hot. Soul Mate City.
Stephen, Stephen, Stephen! Your passionate declarations to Cassandra on pp. 251-253 had me weeping. WEEPING. No boy in literature has ever done that to me before or since. I would give you much a higher ranking had only your feelings been reciprocated. I'm so sorry.
I realize it's much cooler to be in love with Sirius Black or, I don't know, HARRY, but alas, it's the werewolf in the shabby clothing who stole my heart. He's just so nice. And I don't see nice often enough. He's the first person who shows genuine kindness towards Neville Longbottom (not from guilt or obligation), and he's the first person Harry learns was friends with his parents.
Tortured artists! What is it with girls and tortured artists? I don't know, but I totally fell for this one. This book was so amazing and epic and cool, and I dreamed of Joe for like six months afterwards. No exaggeration. Wish I could give more details here, but it's been a few years since I've read it. About time I read it again.
#5 - Jamie Fraser - and Fergus! (Outlander series)
That gravestone says "Clan Fraser" if you can't read it. Creepy, yes, but also the most appropriate picture I could find. So three words best describe James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser: Loyalty. Passion. Kilt.
Who cares if he can't hum a tune, or if he's a wee bit overprotective? He's JAMIE. And when the bad guys have kidnapped you and are threatening rape and death, you'd better believe he's going to find you. And destroy the bad guys. Violently.
And, I'm cheating here, but I have to mention Fergus too. When he reappears inside the brothel in Voyager, he's described like some kind of handsome, wild French pirate. Hello. Who cares if he only has one hand? He clearly only needs one to get down to business.
So before you accuse me of creating this post just to get another picture of Gael Garcia Bernal on my blog, hear me out. I once read that Meg Cabot based Jesse de Silva, looks-wise, on Gael. And to this I'd like to say - HOLLYWOOD. HOW CAN WE MAKE THIS HAPPEN?
Jesse is the hot ghost who has been haunting Carmel, CA for the last 150 years. Suze is the mediator who can see and talk to ghosts. They fall in love, but naturally, it's a little hard to date a ghost who no one else can see. Who also happens to live in your bedroom. The romantic tension in this series is sooo good, and I can't be the only girl who faints with delight every time Jesse says, "Querida."
Meg Cabot has this romantic hero thing down pat. Jesse and Michael flip back and forth in my mind as favorite, but since I just finished Princess Mia (the last two in this series have been SO GOOD), Michael Moscovitz takes the edge today. Smart (he's building a robotic surgical arm in Japan), nerdy (loves Star Wars and Buffy), and rock and roll (he had a band for several years called Skinner Box), Michael is a Super-Hottie.
Robert Schwartzman/Carmine (Jason's younger brother), lead singer of uber-cool band Rooney, played him in the movie. I totally approve of this, even though the plot is way different from the books.
Sorry. No pictures. I've seen a few from the movie, and I'm quite skeptical. I mean, I'm sorry. Cedric Diggory is NOT Edward Cullen. I would have liked to have been present for the casting session.
CASTING DIRECTOR: "We think you'll like this next one, Stephanie. He's been ranked as the most attractive person on the planet for the last three years and counting."
ME:"Yes, but does his skin glitter?"
(But if you're curious, check out the Twilight footage here. I'm still totally seeing it, despite my reservations.)
Anyway. Onto the REAL EDWARD. The most beautiful hundred-year-old boy with marble cold skin ever (sorry, Jesse). Who happens to be a vampire. Who thirsts for the blood of one girl.
Just one.
And THAT'S why he's hot. If he Edward wanted a piece of everyone, he'd be just another Anne Rice wannabe. But there's only one girl in the last century who has ever challenged his morality. Bella Swan. And what girl wouldn't risk her neck - pun most definitely intended - for immortality with Edward Cullen?
There's not even much I can say here other than this: OH MY GOD MR DARCY IS SO FREAKING HOT AND HE'S ALL STUFFY AND UPTIGHT AND RUDE BUT HE'S REALLY NOT HE'S JUST SHY. AND HOT. TOTALLY HOT. DID I MENTION HOW HOT MR DARCY IS???
I could have filled this whole countdown with Men of Austen, so here are my other favorites: Mr. Knightley (Emma), Henry Tilney (Northanger Abbey), and Colonel Brandon (Sense and Sensibility).
Col. Brandon = the Remus Lupin of Jane Austen, FYI.
But back to Mr. Darcy. AHHHHH!! Squeeeeal! Mr. Darcy Mr. Darcy Mr. Darcy!
YES!!!!!!!!!
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So. Now that I've embarrassed myself -- but not really, because I'd totally do it again, just to have an excuse to spend another evening thinking about The Cute Boys of Literature -- who are your favorites?
If I were a Yorkshire terrier, I'd totally be piddling the floor right now.
PBS is airing an adaptation of all six novels, plus a new movie called Miss Austen Regrets ("Courtship she knew well; only the last act eluded her. A film biography that dramatizes Jane Austen's lost loves."). Frankly, the Austen biopic sounds de-press-ing (I'd much, much, much rather see this), but it's all very exciting nonetheless.
Tonight they're showing the 2007 version of Persuasion. I'm especially excited because I've never seen an adaption of this novel before, nor one of next week's Northanger Abbey. Hurrah!
Here is the complete schedule:
January 13:Persuasion January 20:Northanger Abbey January 27:Mansfield Park February 3:Miss Austen Regrets February 10, 17, 24: Pride and Prejudice March 23: Emma March 30, April 6:Sense and Sensibility
Naturally, P&P is the Colin Firth version, which is As It Should Be. After all, it is the definitive Jane Austen adaptation.
Although . . . I have a confession.
While it's quite true that I love (and own) the Colin Firth version - and have seen it way too many times to be considered healthy - I prefer the Matthew Macfadyen version. Which I know admitting this in a JASNA conference would get me stoned, but there it is.
I prefer this wet Darcy:
To this one:
So sue me. (Except don't.)
Ah hem. Well, now that I've managed to post TWO pictures of wet Mr. Darcy, I think it's safe to say this blog entry can get no better. So without further ado - on your mark, get set, TIVO!
Or if you kick it old school like me - on your mark, get set . . . VCR!
Don't do it! He's not worth it!
