I have a confession.
For the last several months, my daydreams about HBM (Hot British Men) have been replaced by daydreams about one person. This person:
For the last several months, my daydreams about HBM (Hot British Men) have been replaced by daydreams about one person. This person:
The Fabulous LorraineIf you follow Neil Gaiman online, in any form, her name probably rings a bell. If not, the Fabulous Lorraine has been Neil's personal assistant for the last sixteen years. And you'd better believe that it's a full-time job! It can safely be argued that she works even harder than her boss. Before I go on, please read her fascinating post "A Day in the Life of a Personal Assistant."
(Seriously. I will wait.)
Now . . . I am not Neil Gaiman.
(Pausing again, to allow your belly laughter to subside.)
I have not written a bajillion stories in every market possible—comics, nonfiction, adult fiction, picture books, middle grade, young adult, magazines, newspapers, television, film, radio, poetry, music. I have not won any awards, nor do I have a rabid army of fans and devoted readers.
I am a nobody, you guys. My first book—FIRST BOOK!—doesn't come out for four more months.
And yet . . .
My professional inbox currently has 205 unreplied emails. These numbers are not Neil-standards, for sure, but I repeat: I AM A NOBODY. And those are two hundred emails requiring replies. (Many of them several replies, as they are interviews.) And this doesn't include the dozens of messages piled up on my Twitter, Facebook, and Goodreads accounts. Nor does it include questions left here on my own blog!
It also doesn't include my personal inbox, which currently has seventy-nine unreplied emails from family members, close friends, and the people most closely attached to my career (agent, editor, anyone at my publishing house).
My own mother is waiting to receive a reply from me!
And the purpose of this post is not to say, "Brag brag brag, look how popular I am"—I have writer friends who receive WAY more email than myself, and again, I cannot stress my unimportance enough—but it is to say . . .
Writers are busy people. We love your email, but there's a reason why sometimes it takes us a while to reply. And there's a reason why many popular, published writers sometimes can't reply at all.
Few writers achieve Neil Gaiman-status. Most of us can't afford to hire a Fabulous Lorraine. Most of us are doing this email and social networking thing on our own. Most of us enjoy it (I love blogging and Twitter!), but it's still exhausting. Answering this many messages is a full-time job.
But you know what else is a full-time job? Writing books.
Which means most writers have TWO full-time jobs. Actually, most writers don't make enough money to support themselves, so they have another full-time job, the one that pays them a living wage. Furthermore, many writers are also parents! Another full-time job.
So. The full-time job breakdown is this:
—family first
—then whatever job pays the bills
—then writing books (or poems, screenplays, essays, etc.)
—then the inbox
So to anyone wondering why I haven't replied to you yet, allow me to assure you:
It's not you. It's me.
And then please allow me to add:
Your patience is always noted, and it's always appreciated.
Furthermore:
Thanks for writing! How cool!
Someday, I'd love to have a Fabulous Lorraine to wake me up and bring me tea and organize my calendar and sort through the never-ending catastrophe that is my inbox. But for now? All I have is Fabulous Stephanie.
And Fabulous Stephanie is feeling pretty darn fabulous right now, because she FINALLY turned in Lola and the Boy Next Door to her editor. Which means the rest of this month is about catching up (your messages) and moving on (Third Novel!! I've missed you!!! Kiss kiss kiss!!!!!).
Good luck to you with whatever your August is about!
[Note: I've mentioned my Fabulous Lorraine fantasy to many people this year, and I've actually received several personal assistant offers. As CRAZY AWESOME as that is, I'm not asking for free work. The day I feel justified to have an assistant (a day faaaar in the future, one imagines, if ever at all), it would be a paid position for someone who lives close to home. But thank you for offering.]
(Seriously. I will wait.)
Now . . . I am not Neil Gaiman.
(Pausing again, to allow your belly laughter to subside.)
I have not written a bajillion stories in every market possible—comics, nonfiction, adult fiction, picture books, middle grade, young adult, magazines, newspapers, television, film, radio, poetry, music. I have not won any awards, nor do I have a rabid army of fans and devoted readers.
I am a nobody, you guys. My first book—FIRST BOOK!—doesn't come out for four more months.
And yet . . .
My professional inbox currently has 205 unreplied emails. These numbers are not Neil-standards, for sure, but I repeat: I AM A NOBODY. And those are two hundred emails requiring replies. (Many of them several replies, as they are interviews.) And this doesn't include the dozens of messages piled up on my Twitter, Facebook, and Goodreads accounts. Nor does it include questions left here on my own blog!
It also doesn't include my personal inbox, which currently has seventy-nine unreplied emails from family members, close friends, and the people most closely attached to my career (agent, editor, anyone at my publishing house).
My own mother is waiting to receive a reply from me!
And the purpose of this post is not to say, "Brag brag brag, look how popular I am"—I have writer friends who receive WAY more email than myself, and again, I cannot stress my unimportance enough—but it is to say . . .
Writers are busy people. We love your email, but there's a reason why sometimes it takes us a while to reply. And there's a reason why many popular, published writers sometimes can't reply at all.
Few writers achieve Neil Gaiman-status. Most of us can't afford to hire a Fabulous Lorraine. Most of us are doing this email and social networking thing on our own. Most of us enjoy it (I love blogging and Twitter!), but it's still exhausting. Answering this many messages is a full-time job.
But you know what else is a full-time job? Writing books.
Which means most writers have TWO full-time jobs. Actually, most writers don't make enough money to support themselves, so they have another full-time job, the one that pays them a living wage. Furthermore, many writers are also parents! Another full-time job.
So. The full-time job breakdown is this:
—family first
—then whatever job pays the bills
—then writing books (or poems, screenplays, essays, etc.)
—then the inbox
So to anyone wondering why I haven't replied to you yet, allow me to assure you:
It's not you. It's me.
And then please allow me to add:
Your patience is always noted, and it's always appreciated.
Furthermore:
Thanks for writing! How cool!
Someday, I'd love to have a Fabulous Lorraine to wake me up and bring me tea and organize my calendar and sort through the never-ending catastrophe that is my inbox. But for now? All I have is Fabulous Stephanie.
And Fabulous Stephanie is feeling pretty darn fabulous right now, because she FINALLY turned in Lola and the Boy Next Door to her editor. Which means the rest of this month is about catching up (your messages) and moving on (Third Novel!! I've missed you!!! Kiss kiss kiss!!!!!).
Good luck to you with whatever your August is about!
[Note: I've mentioned my Fabulous Lorraine fantasy to many people this year, and I've actually received several personal assistant offers. As CRAZY AWESOME as that is, I'm not asking for free work. The day I feel justified to have an assistant (a day faaaar in the future, one imagines, if ever at all), it would be a paid position for someone who lives close to home. But thank you for offering.]
