10:45 a.m. — Greenlife Grocery, Asheville
I hand FRIENDLY CASHIER a bottle of juice and a small brown bag.
FC: Good morning! What's in your bakery bag today?
ME: Ohmygod. What DID I put in the bag?
FC: *smiles*
ME: ?!?!?!?!?!
FC: *waits*
ME: *peeks inside bag* What's that called? What's that even called?!?
FC: *waits*
ME: ?!?!?!?!?!
FC: *smiles*
I hand FRIENDLY CASHIER a bottle of juice and a small brown bag.
FC: Good morning! What's in your bakery bag today?
ME: Ohmygod. What DID I put in the bag?
FC: *smiles*
ME: ?!?!?!?!?!
FC: *waits*
ME: *peeks inside bag* What's that called? What's that even called?!?
FC: *waits*
ME: ?!?!?!?!?!
FC: *smiles*
ME: BISCUIT! I HAVE A CHEESE BISCUIT!!!
Mornings are too hard, you guys. I'm going back to bed.
Mornings are too hard, you guys. I'm going back to bed.

Yup, that is the perfect illustration for Morning Me. Except instead of pineapple, I have hamsters. They refuse to start spinning the wheels in my brain until at least 11.
ReplyDeleteIt's especially bad when my bf tries to speak French to me before I've had my coffee. This morning, for example:
Him: OOO-EEE lil' feetsies?
Me: WHAT? *stares at his feet*
Him: OOO. EEE. lil' feetsies?
Me: WHAT?! *feels brain hamsters panicking*
Him: Where. Are. The filters. For the coffee. Ou est les filtres.
Me: *points to filters* *goes back to bed*
You know better than to be awake and talking to other humans before noon!
ReplyDeletedur dur
ReplyDeleteI try to explain to my husband that while I can get out of bed before 9AM, I can't be coherent before then without coffee.
ReplyDeleteThe hard part is trying to buy my coffee without having had any yet...
Awww. I hear ya. :)
ReplyDeleteYes.
ReplyDeleteCan tell from the last 2 days you don't have kids.
ReplyDeleteWhat's a cheese biscuit?
ReplyDeleteHaha:p awesome end of the week story. Don't worry Steph, for those of us not (yet!) full time authors, we have to spend our mornings on math problems:( Please give us more updates of isla!
ReplyDeleteYou are my spirit animal.
ReplyDeleteI just read this entire thing out to my roommates. They were highly amused. :)
ReplyDeleteHow did I miss this post? :) So funny!
ReplyDeleteI love Greenlife. I miss Greenlife. I'm with you on the morning issues... Definitely not my favorite part of the day!
ReplyDelete