I am totally looking out for you. This post could be about how I saw the Mona Lisa or the Venus de Milo or whatever, but NO. It's NOT. It's about CUTE GUYS.
You're welcome.
For the record, it's really, really, really difficult to find attractive men inside the Louvre. Not that there aren't plenty of them walking around — the natives are quite well-dressed and groomed and such — but that would be exceedingly creepy on my behalf to take their photographs. Even for me. So you'll just have to picture them on your own. (Feel free to exaggerate their good looks, as it's your daydream.)
But it's hard to find attractive guys in ART. There are oodles of beautiful, seductive women baring their breasts. As my sister and I commented, painting after painting of "Whoops! My boob slipped out!" Which is fine. I get this. No complaints.
BUT the lack of beautiful, seductive men is way unfair! Instead, fine art museums are filled with ugly, grumpy men with peculiar facial hair and satiny tights. So I figured I'd do the job no one else seems to be doing. I'd find the handsome men, collect them, and bring them back here for your pleasure.
For the record, there are thousands of paintings in the Louvre. And this was the best I could do.
Self-portrait of Louis David. I think most of us can agree moody artists are hot.
Jean-Pierre Cortot (painted by INGRES). He looks worried and tragic! Swoon.
Self-portrait of Alexandre Colin. Slightly street urchin-ish. Still. I'd kiss him.
Charles William Bell (LAWRENCE). Not quite my type, but pretty good, all things considered. A bit like Hugh Grant in Sense and Sensibility, maybe?
Maurice Quay (RIESENER). Too scruffy for my sister, but I like him. He could be the hero of a swashbuckling adventure story.
I'm just testing if you're still paying attention. This was totally someone's creepy uncle.
Antonio Canova (LAWRENCE). What do we think? I'm reminded of Gabriel Byrne.
OHMYGOD, DARCY IS THAT YOU?!?!?!?! The last one is Léon Reisener, also a painter (but different from the above Reisener), and cousin of the artist, Eugène Delacroix. He ties with Jean-Pierre Cortot for my top vote.
Who gets your vote? Leave a comment, and we'll crown a winner THE HOTTEST DUDE OF THE LOUVRE.
Oh! And I also saw The Coldplay Painting.
Which means, by the rules of my blog, I am thus allowed to post a picture of My Celebrity Boyfriend Chris Martin in front of the same picture.
He looks exhausted. But sweet!I hope you're all having a wonderful weekend. Stay tuned for more updates from the (horrible, sad, tragique, my job is sooOOoooOooo hard) trenches of Paris.
Or, maybe, I have the best job ever.
YOU PICK.
Thank you for the Hot Men of the Louvre tour. Now I don't have to drag my husband around on it when we're there in June (though I suspect he'll want to investigate the escaped boobs for himself).
ReplyDeleteMy vote goes for Leon Reisner, but that could be because you wrote Darcy right before his picture and my mind became instantly biased. Does it even matter?
Glad you're taking in every possible cultural experience.
Alexandre Colin fersher. But Leon Reisener is a close second.
ReplyDeleteLéon Reisener FTW! YUM-O I have thoroughly enjoyed the Hot Men of the Louvre tour. :-)
ReplyDeleteAnd am much jealous of your trip- it's been a while since I've been to Paris. Tickets are cheap in winter, right? *ponders*
Wow, you did work hard. I don't remember seeing any hot men paintings. And you did it all without reverting to naked Greek God statues. Very impressed.
ReplyDeleteI vote for the Darcy one. That's freaky. Although, the creepy uncle was rather divine.
Léon Reisener hands down! :)
ReplyDeleteThe Darcy guy is hottest. But I really like that little street urchin guy.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate you collecting the hot art guys for us. Maybe you could create a team of hot art guys who go around solving mysteries or singing or something.
Have fun!
Shelley
My vote's definitely for Léon Reisener!
ReplyDeleteWhoah! My WV is "voter"! Craziness!
LOL. I love that you take the time to weed out the boring stuff, so we can all enjoy the important stuff:the hot boys.
ReplyDeleteAlexandre Colin...swoon! : )
Have fun in Paris (lucky girl)!
Hot guys in the Louvre is total awesomesauce! And Alexandre Colin ftw, ooooh I'd kiss him too!!!
ReplyDeleteThat Darcy-guy is officially my new boyfriend. Is it weird to have a crush on a painting?
ReplyDeleteAlexandre Colin, but that last picture could hang out at my house too.
ReplyDeleteDarcy dude gets my vote! It's kind of sad there was so little to choose from.
ReplyDeleteI DEFINITELY vote for the Darcy-esque painting.
ReplyDeleteYou're so cute when you match Chris! My "Viva la Vida" concert tee has that painting.s
I love this post. Alexandre Colin is my favorite (aww, urchiny!) but fauxDarcy is a close second. Hope you continue having a brilliant time!
ReplyDeleteCreepy uncles turn me on.
ReplyDelete*Lol*
Alexandre comes first in my list, bit I totally would not mind a kiss for Leon.
ReplyDeleteActually, I'd just let Alexandre and Leon got at it at fisticuffs for me. I'd take whichever one won, or maybe the one who lost in a more dignified way.
It'd be a tough decision.
That was brilliant! You should submit your tour to the Louvre—people are gonna want to go on it. I'm positive.
ReplyDeleteYou guys, is it just me, or does Alexandre Colin look like Orlando Bloom?
ReplyDeleteI think Alexandre Colin looks like John Cusack. He's my fav of the bunch, followed closely by Léon Reisener. Louis David looks hot but he scares me.
ReplyDeleteAlexandra Colin looks exactly like that guy in 500 Days of Summer.
ReplyDeleteWhat a fun post!
Mmmm, I am ALL about creepy uncle, too! The inverted-triangle head, the pallid, sickly complexion, the sinister-looking fingers...
ReplyDeleteOh, BABY.
See, you know how to do museums right. I'm so proud I know you. Please promise you'll take me on that tour someday.
Léon/Darcy. Swoon-worthiest to me. You totally have the best job ever.
ReplyDelete#3 french guy :0)
ReplyDeleteoh..and totally coolest job ever. I'm sooo jealous! :0)
Definitely Alexandre Colin, even though Darcy/Reisener looked like Ethan Hawke to me at first (with John Cusak's mouth).
ReplyDeletehaha love the creepy uncle. We all have one.
I vote for Leon.
ReplyDeleteI'm so enjoying imagining you on a cute boy scavenger hunt in the Louvre! I bet it made it so much more fun than just moving from painting to painting going, "Yup, another painting." I say this as an artist, but . . . art museums -- even the Louvre! -- can get kinda boring! Oh, and I'm going to vote for the creepy uncle :-)
ReplyDeleteMy vote is totally for Léon Reisener. *swoons*
ReplyDeleteAhh I enjoyed this post it made me laugh :) Always go for the guys you can't have even if they're paintings :)
ReplyDeleteI vote for Charles William Bell!!! Hands down the cutest
Street urchin all the way. He has a sort of Orlando Bloom look about him.
ReplyDeleteI thought you were wrong in the head when I first saw the creepy uncle painting. However, you explained yourself, so I now deem you sane. I'm voting for Leon R.
ReplyDeleteI'm voting for Alexandre Colin. Hello there, I think I was born in the wrong century. Lol.
ReplyDeleteMy vote goes to Alexandre Colin. Runner-up would be Maurice Quay.
ReplyDeleteCreepy uncle might be an old relative of the lovely and creepy Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell from Prison Break.
I love it that you call it "The Coldplay Painting". Maybe they should rename it. :)
Léon Reisener, hands down. That's the most fun project for Louvring I've ever seen, by the way.
ReplyDeleteOh Stephanie, je t'aime!!!
ReplyDeleteThe creepy uncle made me laugh.
I think Alexandre gets my vote.
I love this. And I am SO getting my own back at the end of the month. Watch out for Hot Boys of the National Portrait Gallery... I'll mail you the link ;-)
ReplyDeleteit's a hard choice but i'm going with alexandre colin
ReplyDeleteI was going to vote for the creepy uncle, but then I realized something...you don't like blondes, do you? Or redheads? Because the only blonde on that list is Mr. Martin.
ReplyDeleteOr, maybe, blondes didn't sit well for paintings?
BTW...I went through the same airport tunnel last month and thought it was the coolest thing EVER. My kids liked it, too. I wanted to go back and forth, but we had to actually catch the next plane.
Definitely Leon. Ahead of his time, I'd say, what with the scruffy 5'oclock shadow and bedhead.
ReplyDeleteI'm going with Alexandre Colin and Leon Reisener. Good job on finding the hot men.
ReplyDeleteMmmmm, definitely Creepy Uncle. Yum!
ReplyDeleteOy, I wanted to come here and vote for Creepy Uncle to make Kiersten happy, but after seeing that last one, HOLY COW DARCY ALL THE WAY!
ReplyDeleteNaughty Kristan.
ReplyDeletehey stephanie- im totally loving your blog and keeping up with your fabulous adventures! i think Quay looks like the guy from the movie ONCE... keep the posts coming- they're making me giggle in class!
ReplyDeleteOkay, if I can't vote for nudey dude at the top (or can I?) I'm totally voting for Leon!
ReplyDeleteHands down, Charles William Bell. How can you NOT long to run your hands through those long, dark, and curly locks. Who can resist the well-tied cravat??
ReplyDeleteYou are hilarious. I just spent over 13 hours in the Louvre this week and I never thought to look for hot guys. But now that you mention it, there were some pretty hot statues of guys. Hmmmm. I'm going to look at my pictures again.
ReplyDeleteOut of these, I'll take the Urchin, s'il vous plait.
Thanks so much for updating us on what's important: hot guys and food!
ReplyDeleteCan I vote for gorgeous naked guy?
He looks so sad and tragic. I would tell you to have fun, but I know you already are!
Darcy, fo sho. I think he has the strongest chin. And not that I ever realized that I was into chins, but when I really studied the others to see what it was about them that wasn't doing it for me, it was the lack of chin. Huh... a good strong chin = yummy. Who knew?
ReplyDeleteThis is a different yummy sort of fun!
ReplyDeleteI'm with Casey and LisaP...I vote for hot, sad, nude guy...He looks like he could use a friend. :)
But if not him, then Alexandre (it's those messy locks)!
I'd like to put that painting of Darcy in bed with me...
ReplyDeleteAlexandre Colin get's my vote, with Maurice Quay coming in close second. I'm a fan of the scruffyness.
ReplyDeleteI vote Alexandre Colin all the way!
ReplyDeleteI'd pick one of the Reisiners: Mr.Darcy #1, Scruffy #2. Also, you should go to the Uffizi someday soon; the Italians do hot boys WAAAY better than the French. I think I sat and stared at David for hours.
ReplyDeleteEverytime I look at Leon I think Patrick Dempsey.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to choose Louis David. Honestly, it's mostly the cravat.
ReplyDeleteOooh, this is fun! Definitely the Alexandre the Street Urchin. Followed by Darcy. For shizzle.
ReplyDeleteI vote for Alexandre Colin because he has John Green hair. *fluff fluff* :) Plus, I like guys with messy, urchin-ish looks. Just as long as they use deoderant and wash their hair occasionally.
ReplyDeleteThank you for taking up this important mission! I appreciate your hard work :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm voting for Darcy.
if i had been keeping up with my blogger like a good girl i could have voted for the street urchin and he would have won all by himself. but that's ok, he wins in my heart. and so do you Stephanie! I especially can't wait for my own Paris trip after reading all your blogs.
ReplyDelete