I’m answering them out of order, so I can group the related questions together. And because I'm rather long-winded, this will take a few posts. So no worries if any of your questions appear to have been skipped! I’ll answer all of them.
Please allow me to begin with THE EASIEST QUESTION:
Darcy or Rochester?
[Steph jumps out of chair and screams at top of lungs.]
DARCY! DARCY DARCY DARCY!!
I absolutely, positively loved meeting Mr. Rochester during my Shameful Bookfest, and I tooooottallly understand the devotion of his fans (such as yourself, if I remember correctly).
BUT . . .
I'm hooked on Darcy for life.
Which leads rather nicely to jckandy’s question:
Why do you always rant about hot guys and HBMs when you're married? You are married, right? Or am I just shooting myself in the foot?
You may put down the gun! You’re correct — I am, indeed, married.
But here is THE SECRET about marriage: attractive people are still attractive once you get married.
It’s true. It's simply impossible not to notice them.
This is why it's crucial to only date/live with/marry people who are NICE. Someone understanding, who won't get jealous when you're like, "Mmm, Mr. Darcy." And this is why it's equally crucial to be nice and understanding in return when he's like, "Mmm, Audrey Tautou."
must go both ways.
And because this is something I feel strongly about, forgive me for discussing this a bit further.
It's true that for the first few months (or years, if you're lucky) of meeting someone special, you forget the rest of the world exists. People like Mr. Darcy and the cute guy who works at Starbucks cease to register on your radar. ALL YOU THINK ABOUT is your significant other, and you can't FATHOM being attracted to anyone else, ever again.
But . . . this feeling ends. And it's actually a good thing! Can you imagine feeling that delirious and consumed for the rest of your life? You'd never get anything accomplished! (Plus, your friends and family and coworkers would hate you. I know mine were sick-to-death of hearing "Jarrod Jarrod Jarrod" every time I opened my mouth.)
This doesn't mean your special someone still won't be the center of your universe. Jarrod is most CERTAINLY the center of my universe. He is my favorite person EVER IN THE HISTORY OF TIME!
And here's the other important bit.
He knows it, because I tell him every day.
Maybe he'd have a problem with my Hot British Man fascination if I didn't tell him I love him the best. It's important to remind significant others how attractive they are and how much we love them! Otherwise they might think we are leaving them for that cute Starbucks guy. And that leads to broken hearts and/or cheating.
[Which, dear readers, is way completely uncool and if you are EVER cheated on, you dump that jerk IMMEDIATELY, okay?]
But the fact that you'll forever register certain people as attractive is the most important reason to marry someone you're also friends with. Because if your entire relationship is based on lustylicious** hormones, the marriage won't survive. Because those insane-in-love feelings WILL calm down (not disappear, just calm down), and then what will you be left with?
It'd better be a friend.
One last thing:
Knowing the people your significant other finds cute can actually be helpful. For instance, if early in our relationship Jarrod had shown interest in Pamela Anderson, I'd have known that it WOULDN'T WORK between us. I'll never be a Pam! But he likes quirky girls, and even though I'll never be as gorgeous as Audrey Tautou or as hip as Christina Ricci, at least these are women I respect.
Besides. Jealousy is silly.
Now, speaking of hotties, Natalie asked:
Just how many HBM's live at/visit your house? Also, is there room for me when I visit someday?
I am so glad you asked. Here’s the breakdown:
There is only one live-in HBM (Hot British Man), My Celebrity Boyfriend Chris Martin.
The reason? Lifestyle compatibility! Not only is he super-nice and polite and funny, but he's also willing to wash dishes and feed the dogs. He bakes cookies and likes our favorite movies. And he and Jarrod can talk music geek FOR HOURS.
Unfortunately, he's on tour this summer, so we're only seeing him every few weeks.
(The house is empty without you, love! Come home soon.)
Wee James McAvoy is a frequent house guest, as well as Jim Sturgess. They are both Official Celebrity Boyfriends. And Thom Yorke has been My Celebrity Boyfriend longer than anyone, but unfortunately we don’t see each other often, as he's vurry busy being Brilliant and all. (He also doesn't like crowds. And he's particularly wary of Chris.)
Matthew Macfadyen appears to want inside my house, but has yet to work up the nerve.
And I wouldn’t mind watching TV with Clive Owen, but he hasn't expressed an interest.
There are also several non-British visitors. Cillian Murphy (Irish), Lee Pace (American), and Gael García Bernal (Mexican) have all attended kilt parties here.
And Rufus Wainwright (Canadian) is totally My Celebrity Gay Best Friend.
As for the second half of your question, OF COURSE there’s room for you to visit. There will always be a place for you in my home!
You may just, er, have to share a bunk bed with someone.
[This = KEY to having Several Celebrity Boyfriends and a regular-sized house. Many, many bunk beds. They also each have one drawer for personal items. Except Chris, naturally, who received his own dresser for his last birthday.]
do you mind if your book is read by a guy? and how do you think about guys who read your book (or blog)? because, you see, i'm a GUY! i'm just wondering... ;D
Begy, I will WORSHIP you if you read my novel.
I’ll be over-the-moon ecstatic when anyone expresses interest in my book! Male, female. Teen, adult. Gay, straight. American, international. Any race, any religion, any anything, and my jaw will drop to the floor like I’ve just won the Pulitzer.
YOU: I read your novel.
ME: Reeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallly? You DID?
YOU: Yeah, it was great! [Okay, I’m taking liberties here. Forgive me.]
ME: Please allow me to wash your feet and feed you bon bons.
ME: Can I sign your book? Do you need another copy? For a friend??
YOU: Um, isn’t Meg Cabot around here somewhere? I’d better run, before I miss her—
ME: WAIT!! COME BACK! TELL ME WHAT YOUR FAVORITE PARTS WERE!! TELL ME YOU WANT TO READ A SEQUEL!!!
So you see? I already think you’re amazing just for asking the question. And I’m thrilled and honored by everyone who reads this blog.
Especially when the posts are this long.
(More answers coming soon!)
* = Numero Uno is Jarrod, of course
** = Thank you, Kiersten — and Evie, for the vocabulary