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5.13.2009

Ta-co, Ta-co Man



I'm so in love with this cartoon Jace made of my husband. Tacos really do make him happy. Tacos make me happy too.

Man, I want a taco.

So last week I mentioned that I found a mysterious basket of flowers on my front door. Today I will tell you the story.


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May 1st, mid-afternoon. STEPHANIE PERKINS returns home from the library, carrying a stack of novels with hot pink covers. She reaches for the front doorknob.


STEPHANIE: Whaaa?


Stephanie scans her yard for Potential Celebrity Boyfriends. She is alone. She sets down the books and reaches out cautiously for something.

A closeup reveals an upside-down cone made from yellow construction paper. It hangs by a blue paper handle, and the words "Happy May day" are printed across it in a childish script. Inside are four pink carnations, a large yellow chrysanthemum, and a sprig of baby's breath.

Stephanie smiles. She sniffs the flowers, but is quickly jolted from her reverie when the door jerks open. Visiting Celebrity Boyfriend WEE JAMES MCAVOY grins triumphantly.


WEE JAMES: Ye missed it!

STEPHANIE: Are these from you?

WEE JAMES: I just creamed Chris on Super Mario Kart. We were on Rainbow Road, aye? And my Koopa Troopa totally ran his Yoshi off the -- whaassat?

STEPHANIE: It was hanging on the door. Just now. You didn't put it there, did you?

WEE JAMES: No.


He is puzzled and slightly annoyed.


Wee James takes the basket and wiggles his wee index finger around inside. His eyes light with glee.


WEE JAMES: CHOCOLATE!

STEPHANIE: What? No! Give it back!


Wee James pulls out two Ghirardelli squares, one mint and one caramel, from below the flowers. Live-in Celebrity Boyfriend CHRIS MARTIN appears behind Wee James as if by magic.


CHRIS: Didsomeonesaychocolate?

WEE JAMES
: (pauses) No.

STEPHANIE:
Someone left us flowers and chocolate for May Day.

CHRIS: They still do that?

WEE JAMES
: Aye flowers, but I was mistaken. Aboot the candies.

CHRIS: (points) HEY! Who's that?!


Stephanie and Wee James spin around. Chris snags the chocolate and sprints upstairs.


CHRIS: Wheeeeeeee!


Wee James thrusts the basket at Stephanie and chases after Chris. Stephanie ignores the boys and studies the flowers. She shuts the front door, but just before it closes completely, there's a flash across her yard. She yanks it back open.

Nothing.

She waits.

Still nothing. She shuts the door.

A man who looks suspiciously like MR. DARCY peers out from behind her car.


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8 comments:

  1. So you've been hogging all my dream men! *Sigh*

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  2. Man, I want your life. So much more exciting and filled with hot men. Though I've decided you can have all the HBMs. I'm going to take the whole New Zealand rugby team. Dibs on Ireland's team too. And Australia's...or maybe just all of them.

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  3. See, this is why I only have James over. Chris's legs are too long for me to catch him when he takes the chocolate and runs.

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  4. Mmmm! I love those G-caramel chocolates. I'm singing for James McAvoy to come to my house.

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  5. chris didn't share any of the chocolate, in case you were wondering.

    and you never let me finish my mario kart play-by-play, love.

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  6. James -- I keep a stash of candy hidden in a Tupperware container underneath my bed. You may take ONE PIECE. Don't tell Chris.

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  7. you're the best, me blueberry love.

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  8. I love that you have celebrity boyfriends, too. But I must warn you... keep your mitts off James Franco and Karl Urban. They're mine.

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